msdevindanielle said: HUNTINGBIRD

i love this

EDIT:

candyumbrella said:HUNTINGBIRD

apparently this is something i should have known

jemmadanvers said: huntingbird!

i understand now

dear whoever left their crack in the parking lot at work,

could u not?

sincerely, the police were here

shieldirector said: "So Lance, who /is/ your ex-wife?" "God, who /isn't/ my ex?" -opens door and ghost of Garrett comes through- "Babe, what are you doing back?"

i’m cRYING

Submission: Lance Hunter’s ex wife theory #27,674,829,412

She was literally a demonic hell beast.

Or demonic Helheim beast, specifically, Hela.

She turns up in an upcoming movie and Lady Sif has to come back to punch her back to Hel.

plot twist lance hunter’s ex wife was actually a demonic hell beast. one day the team was in the laundry room doing the weekly laundry thing. lance’s ex wife literally rose out of the ground in a cloud of ash and smoke. words could never describe the absolute terror of looking at her. she yelled at lance for at least thirty seconds straight- in an odd combination of the growling of a hungry animal, and the wailing of a tormented spirit. fitz, god bless his soul, may have fainted. lance just sighed- “you came all the way from hell to insult my folding skills? seriously?” his ex wife winked at everyone with her one good eye and then melted back into the floor, leaving nothing but a dark stain. lance simply muttered a few curses under his breath and continued “folding” his shirts. when the rest of the team rushed to report the incident, it was discovered that the security footage had mysteriously cut out, so no one could ever prove what happened. to this day, generations of new shield recruits are tentative to do their laundry alone, as all fear the stories. the legend of the haunted laundry room lives on.

plot twist lance hunter’s ex wife was actually a demonic hell beast. one day the team was in the laundry room doing the weekly laundry thing. lance’s ex wife literally rose out of the ground in a cloud of ash and smoke. words could never describe the absolute terror of looking at her. she yelled at lance for at least thirty seconds straight- in an odd combination of the growling of a hungry animal, and the wailing of a tormented spirit. fitz, god bless his soul, may have fainted. lance just sighed- “you came all the way from hell to insult my folding skills? seriously?” his ex wife winked at everyone with her one good eye and then melted back into the floor, leaving nothing but a dark stain. lance simply muttered a few curses under his breath and continued “folding” his shirts. when the rest of the team rushed to report the incident, it was discovered that the security footage had mysteriously cut out, so no one could ever prove what happened. to this day, generations of new shield recruits are tentative to do their laundry alone, as all fear the stories. the legend of the haunted laundry room lives on.

but I came up with a new lance’s ex wife theory this morning and didn’t get a chance to post it before we found out who she is…???

(screw it I’m posting it anyway)

I need someone to follow me around target and stop me from buying so many shirts

I need someone to follow me around target and stop me from buying so many shirts

Anonymous said: wait, who's lance's ex-wife? did it get announced or something?

IM ON MOBILE AND TAGGING ASKS WITH SPOILERS IS COMPLICATED UGGGHH I DONT WANT TO JUST SAY IT WITHOUT TAGS THOUGH ok so episode five aired at paleyfest, if you go through the agents of shield tag, you should be able to find some nice little details

Anonymous said: did something with the name come out???

episode five was aired at paleyfest, a quick scroll through the lance hunter tag should satisfy your curiosity

Anonymous said: This blog is amazing, and you are super smart and hilarious!

thank you omg!!! :3